Sometimes, I hate being a girl. Okay, let’s rephrase that to be more honest- most of the time I hate being a girl. Sure, I love shopping and putting on makeup, but overall it seems that life would be easier to be a guy. There are always certain moments in my life that make this particularly obvious, like when I watch a birthing scene in a movie, when I see the price tag on bras at the mall, and when cattiness ensues. Today’s post is going to focus on the latter, particularly women being insecure and envious of other women.
I’m one of those girls who doesn’t have a problem telling another that she is pretty. When my friend gets a raise at work , I congratulate her. When a classmate dyed her hair, I would tell her how amazing she looks. When a blogger posts something I enjoy reading, I tell her how much I enjoyed it. I like giving out compliments when people deserve them.
But I find that the same doesn’t always happen for me in return. If I curl my hair for a night out, I have other girls asking me why I got so “dolled up”. Um, I just used a curling iron and it only took 10 minutes, if that’s your definitely of “dolled up”, then I guess I’m Barbie. When I got into a new relationship with my current boyfriend (after ending a previous one that ended particularly badly), I noticed a few female friends didn’t say a word to me about it. No “congrats” text, no silly Facebook “like”, not even an acknowledgement in public from some of our mutual friends. What is up with that?
It seems that for some women, it’s hard to accept that others are better than them at something. Anyone who is prettier or thinner than them is shunned and called names. The person who is dating their old crush is seen as the devil. The girl who gets that coveted internship spot is seen as an undeserving suck-up. The list goes on. For future reference, let’s call these women “monsters”, in honor of jealousy- which is known as the “green-eyed monster”.
These monsters cannot genuinely be happy or supportive of other females because to them, life is a competition. Anyone who is better than them in any way is seen as a threat, when in reality, they should see them as fellow strong women. They are always about wearing the most outrageous outfit to stand out in a crowd, trying to be friends with the highest number of guys to seem popular, and trying their hardest to be the center of attention at all times. These monsters aren’t just the 17-year-olds that “Mean Girls” was based off of, they are grown-ass women in their 20’s and 30’s who still haven’t matured.
It’s hard to get to the root of their problems, but according to everything I’ve read, seen and experienced myself, it seems to be their insecurity. A woman who is confident enough in herself won’t need to compare herself to others and try to “win” this competition called life. They will acknowledge other’s successes and praise those who do succeed. They will compliment others genuinely and as necessary. It’s this insecurity that they harbor that makes them act and think this way, which ultimately just hurts us women who do succeed occasionally.
If I had a nickel for every time another woman criticized my naturally-thin weight, I’d be a millionaire (yes, I do eat sandwiches and no, you don’t need to tell me to go eat one). If I really was the crazy over-achiever everyone thought I was in high school, I wouldn’t be living at home and watching how I spend my money. But women perceive others in these crazy ways because they can- and they choose to.
So I guess my point is, WHY are women like this? Is it just me who deals with these “monsters” often in their life? And what do you do about it? I’d love to hear your stories, opinions and advice.