Compliments truly are a wonderful thing. They can make a crappy day seem a little less crappy, give you the confidence you need for that upcoming job interview, and make you feel like a supermodel even when you aren’t.
The best compliments are the ones that come from strangers. These people have never met you before and know nothing about you prior to the exchange of nice words. To me, this makes the compliment a little more valid than your great aunt who refers to you as “the prettiest girl in the world” every time she sees you. She loves you, she’s known you your whole life, she’s your family- she has to say things like that. However, the stranger on the bus telling you they love your haircut or the reader who tells you they love your blog post seems truly genuine.
Another funny thing to think about is the types of compliments that girls like. To any male who is reading this, you probably know by now that women are hard to figure out. That’s because we are all so very different. Calling your last girlfriend “a hot piece of ass” might offend your new girlfriend- go figure. I know that for me, personally, the greatest compliments I can receive are on my sense of humor, my writing ability and my hair. You can tell me I’m so sweet and have a great sense of style and that would be wonderful (seriously, please tell me that), but those 3 things I just mentioned carry more weight with me for some reason. My advice? Find something unique about someone and compliment them on that. I guarantee that while it may shock them, they will appreciate it more than a general compliment about attractiveness or intelligence.
Although most of these are positive aspects of compliments, there are also many negative ones. We’ve all told people we love their dress when in reality, we wouldn’t wear it if our life depended on it, or told someone we think their new boyfriend is truly adorable, when we actually think he seems creepy. These are what I call “white lie compliments”. Although I am usually very honest, sometimes these white lie compliments are just necessary. When our friend is upset or maybe looking for approval, a few simple words can really make their day better. In the end, that’s all we want- to make our loved ones happy, right?
The problem I have with fake compliments is when girls give them to each other excessively. One example comes to mind when I think of this topic- the excessive compliment giver. We all know her, and if you can’t think of who that would be in your life, well then maybe it’s you. She’s the girl who fills your newsfeed up with comments and wall posts calling all her friends “beautiful” and “sexy” or my favorite-“You are such great friend. Here are 10 inside jokes and reasons why you are”. These girls are writing these things for attention- they want others to be flattered by their compliments and in return compliment them back with the same veracity. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, and I consider blocking these people. Every. Single. Day.
This brings me to one of the funniest thing about females hating compliments-we have the bad habit of taking them the wrong way. You say you like girls who stand up for themselves?, well that’s calling us a controlling bitch. You tell us we look good when we wear our hair straight?, well then we must look terrible when it’s curly. I could go on and on with countless examples of how women misconstrue compliments, but you get my point.
The last negative aspect of women and compliments is that we tend to downplay them to seem humble. I find myself doing it all the time. Someone will compliment my on my new dress and I’ll say “Oh, this is old and I don’t even like the color and it kind of makes my boobs look small….”, when instead I should just say “Thanks!”. I don’t think we do this on purpose, I know that for me it’s just an instinct.
What do you think about women and compliments? Do you have a hard time accepting them? Do you think we come off as self-absorbed if we do?