Learning to Love Yourself

love yourself

In today’s day and age, I find myself (and others) often focusing more on the things we dislike about ourselves than the things we like about ourselves. There’s this catch-22 that if you always talk poorly about yourself that you have no self esteem and you’re a loser. But then if you compliment yourself, you’re a bragging narcissistic you-know-what. There’s no happy medium, really, and I think that just stinks.

While I’d love to change a few things about myself (I’d like thicker legs, a smaller nose, eyebrows that arch more- seriously, I’m weird), there are plenty of things that I actually do like about myself. I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten a lot better on focusing on the good instead of the bad. It’s changed the way I see myself, see others and how happy I am with my own life.

It’s so easy to fall in to the trap of comparison. We see a model who is taller and thinner than us and we clench our own stomach fat. We see a former classmate get that coveted job at a Fortune-500 company and we feel stupid. We see our friends all paired up while we spend our weekends with our TV boyfriends. The truth is- everyone has things they dislike about themselves, even the richest, smartest and most beautiful people in the world. But you’d never know that because they have confidence. One of the easiest ways to gain confidence is to focus on the things you DO like about yourself. So, I’m going to start this revolution by writing about a few things I love about myself. I encourage you to do the same- whether it’s on your own blog, in the comments on this post, or in your personal journal.


wavy hair

My hair

Although growing up I didn’t how how to style it- I cut it way too short and I wore it in a ponytail too often- I’ve learned to love my hair. Once I started growing it out, taking care of it and learning how to style it, I began to like the way I looked. I get more compliments on my hair than anything else- in it’s natural state, curled state and straight state. I associate long, healthy hair with femininity, so having my long wavy locks makes me feel like a woman. Corny, I know, but still… My natural wavy hair is easy to style- I can curl it or straighten it and both will last. Versatile hair is something not everyone is born with, so I’m lucky to have mine and I love it.


best sense of humor

My sense of humor

Everyone thinks they are funny. Or they say that “a good sense of humor” is number one on their list of a mate. But the truth is, most people aren’t that funny. Or their version of funny is mean, gross or too weird. I have more of a witty, sarcastic, sometimes self-deprecating sense of humor that can easily be related to. When people laugh at me or tell me I’m funny (especially when I’ve just met them or they read something I wrote), it means the world to me. People these days can be so uptight and take everything too seriously, so having a good sense of humor is something I love about myself (and apparently my male friends in college did, too, since they gave me the award above at the end of our senior year!)



My backbone

No, I’m not taking about my physical backbone (because that one is probably in poor condition from my posture), but more about the figurative one. Having a backbone means you stand up for yourself, don’t take shit from other people and know your worth. This trait can be mistaken for being controlling, nasty or stubborn, but it really is just the opposite. I value myself enough to know when to say no, when to tell people they are wrong and when to tell myself “you deserve better, Rachel”. It breaks my heart seeing girls who get walked over on by their crappy boyfriends or women who put up with friends who ruin their self confidence. Maybe I’ve lost a few friends along the way or gained a few haters, but being honest and valuing myself is a trait that I love.

So now that you’ve heard mine, tell me 3 things you love about yourself!


  1. it’s funny but unlike you I wished I had thinner legs. But I did learn to focus on the positive. I know that I am smart, while I’m no supermodel I think I am pretty and confident (some days not so much lol), I would have to say backbone as well, I do not take S*** from anyone.

  2. Oh gosh. I wish I wasn’t in such a hurry today and I could just write to you about this all day long. I really, really despise how when a woman has a backbone she is a bitch but when a man does he is rewarded! I know it’s just a double standard but it makes me so mad. So YOU GO GIRL!

  3. I love this. I’m going to pin the first image for sure. I do LOVE your hair. I’ve been thinking alot about this topic lately and it’s such a relevant piece for me to read!

  4. This is so true!! It’s a total catch 22…but I think it is so important to remind yourself daily of what you do love about yourself and the good you do for others and not let little things that we don’t like consume us! GREAT post!!

  5. I think you should add great work ethic, superior writing skills and persistence. Being your Dad I have been blessed to watch you for the last 24 years grow into the young woman you are today. Love, Dad

  6. I needed this today Rachel! I used to have really really good self esteem but not in an overbearing way (at least I don’t think). In fact just last week my friend said, I always thought you were the most confident person, what happened?! I’ve been through a lot since I graduated college and slowly but surely I am trying to focus on what I like about myself rather than focusing on the negatives, but it is really hard for me to do… P.S. I LOVE your hair, it is seriously the best hair I’ve ever seen, I can feel your sense of humor through the blog and it is awesome and I can tell you stand up for yourself and HAVE an opinion. I believe I also have this and although I think people can see it as a negative because it usually means I lose friends (and I have lost a lot of them along the way) but I know myself best and I know what I deserve and I know when I’m being ridiculous. Anyway, good for you! Also, we are all our own harshest critics cause girl I want smaller legs šŸ™ And even though people always tell me I have “perfect brows” I don’t like them half the time so no win win. I really should sit down and do this for myself šŸ™‚ Thank you for the post!

  7. I feel like I always say this on your blog in particular, but here I go again: Loved this post! My sense of humor is one of my favorite things about myself as well, being able to make someone laugh is just the best feeling. Another thing I like about myself is my determined, driven, (and sometimes stubborn) nature. Giving up just isn’t what I do, and that has opened up so many opportunities for me. One more thing….I’m a pretty good dancer! šŸ™‚

  8. I absolutely love this post! It’s so easy to overlook the things that make us awesome and instead focus on the negative. We all need a reminder like this from time to time. PS: I agree — your hair is fantastic!

  9. Great post. Society has become so focused on showing people what is wrong with them what they should fix instead of everyone realizing just how unique and special we all are. We all possess physical and intellectual characteristics that make us awesome human beings. I like my ability to function in stressful situations, my ability to keep true to myself and that I’m a good listener.

  10. Love this post and such an important message! I love that your can look appreciate all the good things about yourself and are encouraging others to do the same.

  11. I love the idea behind the post and I love the revolution you started! I also love your hair haha

    Things I like about myself? I like my sense of style- I like my friendly/relatable nature- and I like the fact that I’m strong willed!

  12. Oh my gosh I would sell my soul to the devil for a good eyebrow arch.

    But in all seriousness I love this post… it reminds me of that video that went around a while back where the women described themselves to a sketch artist and then another woman described them and they compared the pictures. I hope you know what I’m talking about or that made no sense.

  13. I love this post! As I go through my 20’s, I’m definitely experiencing similar transitions in my attitude towards myself as well. As bloggers, I’m so glad that we all feel comfortable and confident enough to put ourselves out here!

  14. First I ‘d like to mention what 3 things I love about you Rachel. You are super honest and genuine which is so important to me. I love your eloquence, your writing style is so interesting and well written. I love your beautiful hair :-). Hmm, I love that I am a very warmhearted and caring Person, there are way to less People out there who has that, so I really appreciate that about myself. I think I have a good sense of Humor, life is so much funnier when you dont take yourself too serious and I like my thick hair also it pisses me off when it doesnt do what I want it to do šŸ™‚
    Great post dear as always

  15. I’m glad I stumbled upon this post. I like my youthfulness, I’m pretty playful and not very serious; I like that I’m carrying; And I like my skin I think it’s a nice complection. I’m very greatfull for your post.

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