I recently finished reading “MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend” by Rachel Bertsche. The book tells the real story of a 20-something, recently-married woman who moves to Chicago only to realize her life is missing one thing: new girl friends. The book tells the tales of her mission to go on 52 “friend dates” throughout the year. Bertsche’s writing is easy to understand, witty and very true to my life.
I have groups of girl friends from high school and college and a few work buddies as well, but still often feel like making friends is hard in your 20’s. Since I’m far away from most of my “home friends” as I call them (high school friends from my hometown), and my college buds are super busy, there are days and nights where I feel a bit lonely in the girl friend department. I can completely relate to Bertsche which is why I found the book so amusing and even inspiring. She’s in a relationship, moved to a new city and has a busy schedule- all things that ring true to me. These all make it extra hard to find new girl friends.
So am I going to go on a similar mission and try to befriend 52 new people? Not exactly. But I’m going to try harder to be friendlier to strangers, people I have common interests with and friends-of-friends.
For example, there’s a girl who takes the same morning train as I each morning. I recognize her because when you stand next to someone at the train stop 4/5 days a week for an entire year, faces become more memorable. She dresses cute, seems to be around my age and has a wedding band- meaning she’s married (I only say this because I find that, from experience, single women don’t always like befriended women in relationships. Weird, I know, but it’s a trend I’ve noticed). I know she lives in the same apartment complex/area as I because I’ve noticed her walking ahead of me a few times and coming from the same general direction.
But I worry that speaking up and introducing myself would freak her out. What if she doesn’t recognize me? What if she thinks it’s weird that I noticed she lives near me and we take the same train line? What if she turns me down and then I have to awkwardly look away each morning at the train stop?
Bertsche had all these same thoughts in her book, but over time overcame the fear of what others think. When a prospect never called her back, she moved on. When someone shot her a weird look, she smiled and went on with her day. I aspire to be more like her. I’ll keep you updated on the train station girl.
Have you read “MWF Seeking BFF“? Do you have any tips for making new girl friends in a new city?