10 Thoughts I Had Immediately After Getting Engaged

engagement quote

In case you missed it, a few weeks ago I got engaged. Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of congratulations and many, many questions from family and friends about wedding dates, themes and more. Since being engaged is new and foreign to me, I thought it would be fun to put together a list of the top 10 thoughts that went through my head immediately after getting engaged. Have you gone through these as well, or am I just crazy? What are the typical things you’re supposed to think after you get engaged?

I’m old.

Yes, I realize you can get engaged at any age- whether you’re 18 or 38- but making a lifelong commitment to someone is one of the more common life experiences that makes you feel “grown up”. When I was little, I always imagined myself looking and acting older when I got engaged or married, which is weird. But no- I still have the face and body of a 16-year old and hopefully they make wedding dresses that cater to that.

How the hell am I going to pay for a wedding? 

Seeing as the average wedding costs about as much as one year of my college tuition, (which I will be paying off in loans until I’m probably 50 years old), I can’t even begin to think how we’re going to be able to pay for all of this. Yes, I realize you get some of the cash back as a wedding gift, but still… The flowers alone cost thousands of dollars and they die 3 days later.

Shiny ring… shiny ring… shiny ring.

I can’t stop looking at my ring and admiring it. This doesn’t mean I’m a self-obsessed, narcissistic person who only likes material things, but when you’re wearing a gorgeous diamond, it’s hard not to like it. And I’d actually be offended if I was James and my fiance wasn’t beaming every time she looked at her finger. The point of a ring is obviously the bond you’re sharing with your fiance and your promise to get married, but it’s also supposed to be pretty and make you feel good. And mine does. And no, I’m not sorry for that.

How did I get this lucky? 

Everyone dreams about meeting their soulmate and spending the majority of their life with someone special. Whether you want to admit it or not- we all have those innate needs of being loved and sharing that with someone else. I always think to myself, “How did I get so lucky to find James?” How did I find someone who shares common interests and beliefs, makes me smile and laugh and treats me like I’m the best thing on the planet?

I’m going to have to change my last name.

I adore my last name. It’s cutesy, funny and unique (it’s pronounced “my-lady”, FYI). I’m also a writer, which means all my bylines on the internet and in print reads as Rachel Maleady. But after I get married, that will change to reflect James’ last name. So naturally, I’m anxious and nervous about how this well affect me as a writer and also for my SEO. When a future employer tries to Google me, will anything even show up? Is there a porn star or someone else with a tainted image who just so happens to share my new first and last name combination? #thestruggleisreal.

Are people going to de-friend me now? 

As pathetic as it is, some people become jealous monsters when their friends/peers/frenemies get engaged. I know, it’s bizarre and no, I hope I don’t have anyone in my life who would do this, but who knows. It’s happened to me before (when I started a new relationship, when I got a new job, etc.) and I’ve watched it happen to friends and peers who have gotten engaged recently. It’s sad that my mind wanders to this, but shit happens. I’m happy to report that so far, everyone has been extremely supportive and I’m so thankful for that. And I don’t think I’m important enough for anyone to be jealous like that- come on now.

I should stop buying rings now.

I used to be an avid ring wearer- I wore a few silver rings on each hand. But now that I have a sparkly engagement ring, it looks cluttered and tacky to wear other rings along with it. So now I will stick to necklaces and bracelets so I don’t look like a misinformed fashion blogger. Keep it simple, ladies!

Will less guys hit on me now that I have a huge, noticeable rock on my finger? 

I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true. I can’t tell you how many creepy guys have made comments like, “Well I don’t see a ring on your finger” when hitting on me. Side note: Does this mean I’m getting old? All women deal with their fair share of creeps hitting on them, so naturally I’m curious if an engagement ring will do anything to halt these attempts.

How many times am I going to scratch myself with this thing?

I do crazy things when I sleep, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I wake up often with weird marks all over my face/body from my ring. I realize that I could sleep without it on, but I’m worried that I will forget to wear it if I don’t sleep with it on.  I’m also worried that it’s going to catch on my sweaters and ruin them. First world problems, I know.

Dress shopping is going to be so much fun! 

I loved shopping for the perfect prom dress back in high school, and wedding dress shopping is ten times more exciting (and expensive). Can’t wait to try on a bunch of different styles and find “the one” to make the day extra special.

19 Comments

  1. Love this post! Made me remember the time I was engaged! Try not to stress about the whole process too much (I know easier said than done). Everything always works out! I got married in 2 weeks and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. All of the planning I did before was just washed away….and enjoy the process! I can’t even remember simple details of the day. It’s all a blur now…LOL! You will be fine! Congratulations!

  2. I got engaged in July and had a lot of these same thoughts right away. One of the first things we did was set a budget and we had a venue booked and date set within 2 weeks because we knew we wanted to get married summer 2015 but a lot of places had pretty limited availability already. Also, I’m still having the change your last name thoughts, haven’t decide if I’m going to do it yet or not!

  3. I haven’t managed to scratch myself in my sleep, but I have snagged a couple of sweaters and towels with my ring – whoops! I didn’t realize that’s how your last name is pronounced, that’s so cute!

  4. This cracked me up because I thought pretty much every one of these things! 10 months since getting engaged and I still love looking at my ring (meaningful and gorgeous). Yes, I now wear hardly any other rings. Even if they’re cute they just don’t go… So yes, bracelets, necklaces and earrings it is! AND…I came up with centerpieces that didn’t require a ton of flowers, which kept our florist cost under $1,000 (and we didn’t do boutonieres (spelling??) or corsages for everyone…every little thing adds up, trust me!).

  5. I changed my name, but for SEO purposes and history kept my maiden name as my byline. Depending on how unique your new last name will be, you might consider doing the same. You don’t want your work to get hidden in the depths of Google if you’re going to be a Jane Smith for example.

  6. Ha I felt most of these! A few comments on your thoughts:
    1. I felt totally old and because I’m wearing an engagement ring I keep expecting not to get carded at the grocery store or in bars – but I’m surprised (happy?) to report that it hasn’t made a difference at all.
    2. My best advice here is to try to decide what really is important to you (not what you think should be important to you) and don’t get wrapped up in wedding trends and advertisements and everything out there encouraging you to spend, spend, spend. You may find that what you really want for your wedding isn’t that expensive at all.
    7. I totally toned down my jewelry wearing when I got engaged. Now, I also wear a lot more silver/ white gold than I used to so that it better compliments my ring!
    8. A little bit less, yes. But you’ll still get hit on. And since you look young it’s more likely that guys will be curious about the ring and your engagement so they’ll talk to you anyway (not sure if that counts as “hitting on”). Also, I feel like guys are so used to seeing girls wearing jewelry, and not a lot of people our age are married, so sometimes guys don’t even notice or look for the ring.
    9. You probably won’t scratch yourself but more than likely you’ll accidentally scratch someone else. And it’ll get caught on clothes, so be careful of that. Mostly sweaters.
    10. Yes, yes it is. And yes, they make dresses that will fit you. You’ll try on dresses that are like, a size 10 – and then they’ll clip them to fit you and you’ll look like a princess! Almost everybody needs to get their dress tailored so make sure you go to a good tailor!

  7. AHHHH RACHEL!!!!! YOU’RE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations girlie! I’m so happy for you guys! Let the wedding planning begin! P.S. #8 is the opposite lol. I feel like the ring attracts more men. Something about them not being able to have you…makes them want you more lol….but don’t tell fiancé that haha!

  8. First, CONGRATULATIONS! I just got engaged a little over a month ago and I can agree with all of those things on your list. I loved reading this! Also, YES stare at the ring constantly. I do. I also like to wiggle my fingers and watch the light catch on the diamonds ha ha, so there’s that.

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